Spiritual Ruler

Well now here is a question to percolate thru our systems.

 

Sink your teeth into that. One to God.

Just how do we measure the challenges we face when we put God into the equation? Where does God enter into our problem-solving activities?

How about...

...the alpha & the omega... -revelation 22:13

Start with God. End with God. And put God in the middle as well. It is the perfect solution to any challenge.

What If

As we enter into the "thankful" time of year - I am reminded that there is always something to be thankful for.

Never miss a moment to Thank God for all the blessings in our lives. That's the easy part.

The hard part is thanking God for the trials in our lives. Those moments when we might question if God is actually listening.

When we enter that kind of season - life just doesn't seem to go right for us. Stuff breaks, challenges seem never-ending. In the midst of this struggle it is nearly impossible to find the learnings we need to absorb.

To be thankful for these crosses that we bear is the antithesis of what feels right. Our fragile egos can't comprehend that we should have gratitude in our hearts.

All of which reminds me of my most favorite modern Christian song "Blessings" by Laura Story.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

Indeed - what if. 

• If we can set aside our egos long enough to hear God.
• If we allow God into our quiet spaces.
• If we let our vulnerability show.

That's so many "ifs". Yet...we know that our Lord will comfort us. In fact, he does even if we don't ask. 

Yet if we do ask - if we recognize the lessons, the deep healing, that is embedded within our trials - we open ourselves up to his great mercy - his greater love.

And there is nothing more that should make us thankful then the love of God.

Amen.

Our Warrior

Do you ever get tired of the daily grind? The endless demands on your time & energy. Whether that be at work, at home, or elsewhere in your life. Don't you want to set those burdens down?

Of course you do. Who wouldn't?

Well - guess what. We have the most powerful warrior the universe will ever know...walking right by our side, just waiting for us to turn to him and say...

Lord, please help me.

Or some variation of the same.

Don't be shy about it. Shout it out if you need to. Yell, scream, holler - or whisper it so that your words are almost silent. Just a faint breath on the breeze.

God won't think you are angry with him. And no matter how softly (or loudly) you say it - he will hear you. He always does.

He already knows you are overburdened, worn out, your insides mush from being wrung dry on a daily basis. All he wants from us is to turn to him in times of trouble. (Or happiness - to be thankful for the abundance.)

Even if those burdens don't magically disappear - the demanding boss, the financial concerns, the trials of life - giving them to God always feels good.

Because he is our Warrior. 

God's Hands

 This is truth. Abundant truth.

I have powerful testimony that proves this simple statement.

We are going back to 2010. I was at possibly the lowest point of my life. Nothing was going right. So much turmoil. So much sadness.

I had been away from church for about 15 years. No more Christadelphian meetings, no praying, nothing. I didn't stop believing in God and yet...I started questioning everything about him. The personal crisis that started in 2009 had crescendoed to a feverish state of mind.

After a year of intense sorrow, the hubby & I started talking about, of all things, going back to church.

No one was more shocked than me.

Now - we love the city of Boston. It is one of our favorite places anywhere and we try to get there several times each year. In early 2010 we planned a mini-break holiday in that great place. Bougie hotel, great meals, lots of walking and people watching.

And a visit to St. Leonard's Church in the North End of the city. We went there every time we went to Boston to light a candle for Heather Smith. She was the daughter of old friends and she perished on Flight 11 on 9/11/01. Despite not being particularly religious during those years we honored Heather and her parents.

So we went to St. Leonard's during our weekend away. I was more curious about this Catholic church than any time in the past given that we were thinking about going back to church. And the Christadelphian faith was definitely not on the list.

Growing up in a non-aesthetic Christian faith I had no familiarity with Saints. I knew nothing about them and certainly never saw any physical representations of them.

St. Leonard's in Boston is a classic 19th century Italianate church. Built entirely by the Italian immigrants living in the North End, it is lavish with coffered ceilings, gold leaf everywhere, and elaborate statuary all around the church. So many saint statues that they stood, literally, shoulder-to-shoulder.

I had never explored them before but this time, March 2010, I felt compelled to walk up to each one. I felt one of those saints calling to me. One of them had something important to tell me, I could feel it in my bones.

So I began walking around the church, stopping in front of each statue and asking - are you the one? I'd wait a minute or so, then move on when I felt nothing.

Until I came to a distinctly unique statue. Tall, wearing armor and holding a pennant***. Like all the others, I paused and asked - are you the one?

The next few moments are burned into my memory. I can see this like it is happening right in front of me at this moment.

I was pushed - literally - to kneel in front of this statue. There is no doubt in my mind that the hand of God gently forced me to the cushioned kneeler. If there wasn't a kneeler, I'm sure I'd have gone prostrate on the floor.

I prayed as I never have in my entire life. And cried - I didn't know a human being could cry that much in one place at one time.

I have no recollection how much time passed. Hubby just let me do what I needed to do. He stayed near me but didn't speak to me. He respected what was happening to me. He was then, and remains today, my steady loving rock.

Eventually I stood back up, dried my messy face, and sat in the church for a good long time. Just sat there - quietly praying some more.

On the ride home from Boston that evening we talked about what happened. What it felt like physically. And emotionally.

I was exhausted in every way possible. Overwhelmed by the experience and reeling from the very clear message. From God himself.

Go back to church my child. You need me. I need you.

Startling to say the least. The following weekend was Easter. And as we were in our driveway on Easter Sunday, prepared to drive an hour to hubby's parents, we clearly heard church bells. We'd never heard them before in the 20+ years we'd live in our home.

Saints. Kneeling. God's voice. Church bells.

You just don't ignore all that. The weekend after Easter we started going back to church. Our plan was to try the "Big 3" in our country town - Lutheran, Catholic, Episcopal. We started with the Catholic Church for 2 reasons: 1) hubby was born Catholic and 2) God told me to go back to church while I was in a Catholic church.

And so our faith journey began. Because God laid his hands on me.

And it's true - I haven't ever been the same since.

Amen.

*** There is an amusing side-story to this saint statue. In my heightened emotional state I saw this statue with the armor and spear as - female. Research immediately after that visit told me it was - Joan of Arc. Now I knew her story but not the details. So I read everything I could find about her. And ultimately selected her as my Patron Saint when I joined the Catholic Church. Fast forward another couple of years and in speaking with one of hubby's Aunts - discovered that the saint statue I knelt before was distinctly male - The Archangel Michael.

I based my conversion to Catholicism, in part, on the misidentification of a saint statue. To this day it makes me smile at the private joke I feel God had for me. I'm not sure I would have responded so viscerally if I'd recognized the statue as St. Michael. Yet upon a revisit some years later it was so obvious the statue is male...abs under the armor, well-defined legs...and that pennant? It was a spear, going thru the heart of a demon at St. Michael's feet.

Just writing all that - makes me laugh.

Strength

Strength - I has it.

And it doesn't come from within me.

God is definitely real. There is no way I have gotten thru the past two chaotic, messy months without someone steering my ship. I certainly don't have the ability to do this on my own.

While I do like to compartmentalize my experiences into easily digested chunks - the truth is we don't get thru our daily lives without God walking with us. Without his encouragement - even when we aren't listening to him.

And that is, to me, the best part. God is with us - even when we patently ignore him. He stays by our sides when we dismiss his quiet messages. Or even when he hits us with a 2x4 on the head.

He never leaves us. We are never alone. And even more - his love for us never fails. 

God's love is the true unconditional love. No matter who should give it to us - God will always give his love to us.

Peace (with a little joy thrown in)

Here we are - another week coming to a close. And another wild one it has been. Work continues to confound with the pace. It increases with every passing month. I wonder - is it me? I'm 3 years away from retirement...at least that is the plan. Lately I've been thinking about ducking out a bit earlier than that.

I just don't want to leave hubby having to toil in corporate america without me by his side on our daily commute together. We have done that for over 30 years and it has been such a blessing to us both. We have that guaranteed time in the car to be with each other without interruptions. Many times we have talked through issues, plans, work annoyances. And equally many we have just held hands and sat in the silence.

Truly a deep blessing. So I'm not sure I could consign him to doing that drive alone. But we shall see what happens in the coming year. I need a couple of major surgeries and a minor procedure. Nothing serious and it's all for the good.  And I'm pondering when I engage my doctors to get them scheduled.

The house renovation is finally come to a close. Nearly 8 weeks of disruption, mess, chaos, more mess, more chaos. By this coming Tuesday all the paraphernalia that accompanies such projects - huge dumpsters, POD storage boxes, etc...will be gone from the property. We have, of course, much work to do inside as we unpack and basically move back into half of our home. And after these past 8 weeks, that will just be fun.

So we are here today - sitting in the quiet of my brand new kitchen - seeing the sun come streaming thru the last of the autumn leaves. Beautiful colors of gold, red, russet, mahogany and - yes - even a bit of green yet to change. The wind is a bit brisk so I suspect this is "peak" weekend in New England. Those leaves will start falling at a quicker pace daily.

And the peace that I feel - from the abundance God showed me a few weeks ago, to working thru the vulnerabilities of the past 8 weeks, to this glorious autumn morning. A peace that truly transcends everything. And dare I say it - a bit of joy as well.

Joy because the chaos is finally over. Joy because this renovation is far more beautiful than we could imagine. Joy at seeing a 7 year long dream & plan come to fruition. Joy at having the wherewithal to embark on this dream.

Peace because...well God is by our sides always, isn't he? Guiding us, showing us the way. 

Always turning to God, thru is son, our wonderful savior Jesus Christ, definitely gives us peace. Maybe things don't always go the way we think they should. But we are not in control here, are we.

No we are not.

That is our struggle as human beings. To give control to God thru constant prayer. And beyond that, listening - really listening - to God's voice in our daily lives. His messages are never-ending if we only open up to hearing them.

Because real peace - the kind that I am feeling in this moment - can only come from the blessings of God.

More Abundance

 

It is the most glorious time of year in New England. That special crisp air that has a tang you smell at no other time. The breezes that shower you with the glorious colors of the changing leaves.

Autumn - is finally here. My favorite season.

It's chilly - even with a 70 degree sun the breeze keeps the air cool. You need a cozy sweatshirt to sit out on the deck.

Which is what I am doing right now. Old sweatpants, a worn out t-shirt that is 3 sizes too big and a soft hooded sweatshirt that is soothing & comforting to wear.

Thanking God with each breath in a silent prayer. For the beauty of a fall day, for the Zinnias that keep blooming, for the Moonflowers that are still curled up tight. For our precious birdies - the ones who are here all year round, who give us comfort & solace on even the rainiest day (which will be tomorrow).

I've been feeling vulnerable this past week. A huge house renovation will be complete in about 10 days. It's been a long 6 weeks of chaos and whole-house uproar. This past week has been brutal at work and completely upended at home. Everyday there is someone in the house working on something. It's wonderful - and unnerving - at the same time.

And while it's all good and the people are lovely - it's left me feeling a bit unsafe in my own home.

So today I sit on our deck, listening to the leaves rustle in the wind, hear the birds chirping and I know deep within my soul that God is keeping watch over me. 

As he always does.