It is a blah day today. Outside and inside.
Outside it is hot, humid, and stormy. A grey day of clouds, rain, and an exceptional quiet. Broken only by the birdsong and claps of thunder.
Inside it is cool and comfortable, at least physically. Mentally I am a jumble of thoughts and worries. Which is something I struggle with daily - letting go of worries. Big or small, I chew over my worries like a dog with a bone.
Not a happy image for a human.
Indeed we do. Or as St. John said in his first book in the New Testament:
"The Lord is greater than whatever is ahead of you and will always guide you through"
...aka God is bigger than the giants we face.
And how true that is. God created it all - heavens, earth, and all in between. And when we consider just the "heavens" - well that encompasses a vast amount...doesn't it.
We all need a reminder from time to time that what we think of a worries - are mere trifles to God. And turning them over to him...makes them trifles to us.
The challenge, at least for me, is to not take them back. I am notorious for doing that - praying, giving it all up to God...then sneaking back under cover of my own darkness and hauling it all back like the baggage it is.
Overburdened. Overpacked. And I am over - it all.
It is time to let go - well & truly. To let God be the greater good that he is - he has the strongest shoulders in the universe (and beyond) and he can handle whatever puny things seem like Goliaths to me.
To think I can handle it - is laughable on any level. I can't, only God can. My ego doesn't allow me to let go at all. Because I continue to believe I have it in me to tough it out; that on some level I deserve this disquiet & discomfort.
God - doesn't want us to feel like this. His love for us is unconditional and nothing could persuade him to allow us to suffer unjustly. (And yes, that is the elephant in every Christian room - just why does a loving God allow us to suffer at all. I have attempted to cover this subject only twice - here.)
Returning to suffering and God. There is no easy answer of course. Perhaps we aren't supposed to find the answer. Perhaps we should do what we know to be true - surrender to God thru prayer. Let him sort out the details. Let him carry the burden.
Oddly it is all, the most omnipotent being of all time, wants from us. The greatest gift to all mankind - prayer & peace.
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