There is something soothing in the knowledge that we can turn to God whenever we want. Whether taking a long walk, sitting in the quiet of our home, or even in the bathroom at work - don't ask me how I know :-).
God is always there. Wanting to hear from us. No matter what our physical circumstances are, God is waiting for us to reach out to him.
Whether it's in fear, sadness, or joy - we are never alone when we put our trust in God.
When we see that word - bondage - it's likely we automatically think of slavery. A stain on any society that kept slaves. And while the word does usually mean being kept in chattel slavery, there is another meaning:
It is this lesser-known meaning I've been praying on this past week. Particularly the "force" emphasized.
What could this force be? In the context of my own prayers it represents a spiritual attack on my well-being. I hesitate to say this as I'm not one to go this dramatic within my faith but...
satan
There. I said it.
The evil one. Lucifer. Beelzebub. The Dark Lord. Mephistopheles. The Beast.
So many names for one creature.
I have come to see, incredibly recently, that I have been under spiritual attack by The Dark Lord. Intent on keeping me servile, it has tied me to the hatred that I bonded to within my own family.
Most everything they did was only for their own benefit. Self-aggrandizement. Charity did not begin at home unless someone could take credit for it. How very - un-Christian. And of course I've already shared what that meant in my family.
Their Christian virtues were irrevocably tied up in hatred. They weren't pro-Christadelphian, they were anti-Catholic (anti any Christian practice really). My mother was anti-<insert ethnicity here>. My father was the same. Equal opportunity bigots.
They hated pretty much anyone who didn't march to their particular drum. And that included people within the family as much as without. Since they weren't very loving, as a child we had no choice but to bond to what they offered.
And so here I am - bonded to their hatred.
{Now to clarify things for the non-Catholics in the crowd - we do not worship Holy Mary. She is a Saint, not a God-replacement. She is venerated as all Saints are; we pray to her for her intercession on our behalf to Jesus, thru whom we pray to God. That's all. She is very important to the Catholic faith - as she should be to all Christian faiths.}
Back to Holy Mary's gift. In a quiet moment of communal & introspective prayer I found myself praying for my father. For the first time in nearly a decade I spoke his name in prayer in a positive way - and asked for the strength to learn how to forgive him.
Trust me - his sins against his daughter are great indeed. The worst sin a parent can commit on their child. In fact those sins really are among the unforgivable.
And yet, here I am. For the first time in my life recognizing that the kind of forgiveness I need to give him will release me.
Just me. Only me.
In a moment of pure clarity, Holy Mary showed me the chains that tie me to him. The connection that keeps me subjugated to him. To his hate. Literal chains leading to this man who wounded me so deeply I never thought I'd recover from the memories of it.
It was - literally a godsend of coherence in a mind that was anything but.
With this magnificent and quite holy offering, I have finally stepped on a path I haven't really seen for my entire life. The incredible understanding of this kind of forgiveness.
How liberating it will be. Oh yes, Holy Mary showed me that too.
After talking about it endlessly - annoyingly even - my journey in faith has taken on another facet. One that I know will bring me closer to that goal of all goals...
...peace.
Amen.
Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.
-anne shirley, aka Anne of Green Gables
One of my favorite books and favorite characters of all time. Anne gets herself into - and out of - some serious scrapes during her life. She is amusing, smart, and kind. We should all endeavour to be like Anne. Even if sometimes we question her decision-making.
And she is right of course - every day dawns anew. A fresh sunrise to mark the start of the day. A new set of tasks or activities.
Buddha tells us:
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| Sunrise over the Presidential Mountain Range in N.H. |
Do we enter each day with a grateful heart? Or do we - as I have done this past week - enter the day with an out-of-sorts mind and grumpy heart.
Yes, I've worn my grumpy pants everyday this week. In truth it was a hard week.
The pace at work is relentless. Each passing month gets more fraught with tension and an endless list of stuff that needs to be done.
And done yesterday, if you can manage it. Thankyouverymuch.
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Everyone around me at the office is dealing with their own stress and the ridiculous demands placed upon each of us by an ever-changing landscape.
Ten years ago - you could work 2 years on a major project, deliver a stunning achievement, and bask in the glory of it all for at least 90 days.
Today? You get 2 months for that same level project, deliver the same stunning achievement. And when you do - everyone is already looking for the next big thing.
On one hand, it does suggest that employment is secure with a never-ending list of priorities, strategies, and deliverables that stretch out for years.
On the other hand, all of it leads to a chronically stressed workforce where common courtesies and respect have given way to workload and a self-centeredness that borders on narcissism among some.
Starting every day with gratitude - knowing what is coming during that day - is sometimes an act of courage.
Why not just acknowledge the hopelessness of ever getting ahead or even being able to celebrate an accomplishment. Trudge thru each day and end it - grateful that it's over.
But that's not what God wants for us, is it?
No. He wants us to be happy. To enjoy this one life that we all get. It is his particular joy to take on our burdens so why don't we give them to him before we put one foot on the floor?
He tells us in Lamentations that this is exactly what he wants us to do:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” -lamentations 3:22-24
It is here - in hope thru God - that we can find our gratitude. He is the reason we have breath in our lungs, sunshine in the sky, and earth under our feet.
Be like Anne Shirley - and treat every day as if it is brand new with no mistakes, no demands.
Save one - enter it with gratitude for God and the abundance of gifts he offers us each day.
So...it's been awhile. Lots going on, some of it great and some it not good at all. And we turn to prayer as often as possible. For the ...
